Date for Real

This last week we talked about the preparation that comes with marriage. It really is so important to spend time with each other in different situations. Do random dates that will allow you to see the other in different situations. If you want to know if he will be a good father, put him in a situation where he will be able to show that. So many couples nowadays do the hang out, where they sit on the couch and watch movies. Watching movies is fine, but it should not be the go to activity. Branch out and really spend that time getting to know each other. Forever is a long time, and it is important to take the time to prepare properly for marriage.

Gender Role

This week we discussed the aspect of gender. As children we seem to naturally have some tendencies that seem to fit within our gender. This of course is just a generalization and it is important to treat children as individuals. One of the things I found very interesting was how much harder we are on young boys, then girls. If a girl plays with a car or a ball, we think it is cute, but if a boy plays with a doll many people get concerned. I just found this fact really interesting, because I had not really thought about it before, but realized it was true. As I thought about this I found myself thinking to my own childhood. As I look back I recognize that both of my parents allowed us to have a balanced life. My brother was the oldest and the only boy, so sometimes if he did want to play with us, he had to play barbies. Granted they would often go bungee jumping, and sky diving, and have crazy accidents, but I never thought it was odd that he was playing with us, until later when I would talk to kids at school. My three sisters and I would also play sword fights, and wrestling, and power rangers with my brother. We had fun with each other doing a variety of activities, but none of us ever felt like our gender identity was in question, and I know that this is largely due to my parents. They still taught me the importance of my role as a woman, and I have never felt degraded or beneath for being one.

Immigration and the Family

I found it fascinating this week when we talked about the fact the immigration has on a family. Many families immigrate to another country to give their children better options and allow them to have a better life. Many times this move can actually cause the family to be torn farther apart. Many times the father goes first, and the family comes later. This causes a bridge to develop between the father and the family. Often when the family moves, the mother also has to work which causes a further drift between the family. Many children say that they were actually happier in their old country, and miss their extended family and friends and culture. It is interesting to here about how immigration really can effect families, and led me to wonder about my mother's story as she had immigrated from Switzerland to the U.S. when she was six years old.

Who's who in the Family

This week we talked a lot about the different roles and rules that families have. As I thought about my own family I recognized that we did all have our different roles, that we played within the family. One member could be the drama queen, while another is the peacemaker. Still another could be the rebel, or instigator. Every member has a different kind of personality that they bring into the family system. We also had those unspoken rules that needed to be followed. For example, we had what I liked to refer to as the Cup Hierarchy, where everyone's cup had a specific spot in the dishwasher. Dad got to control the remote, and Saturday was always Eggs and Bacon for breakfast. These rules, while often going unnoticed, where an everyday part of our life as a family, and only now as I pause to look back on them, do I truly come to recognize them.